My mom called me today asking if I was near a radio. What?
Actually I was; my car radio. She suggested I turn on her radio crush, Dennis Prager because he was talking about dating on his man/woman hour. As someone who has listened to Dennis maybe once before I had no clue what the man/woman hour was (was this my mom’s term or one from Dennis himself?), but I was intrigued enough to scan the dial and find Mr. Prager on am870.
Come to find out, the man/woman hour is each Wed from 10 to 11. During this time Mr. Prager tackles relationship issues, takes viewer questions and gives advice on the whole man/woman thing.
Today’s topic: First Dates.
Dennis (a self proclaimed “old fashioned” guy) believes men and women should talk about “deeper” issues on a first date. Go beyond your favorite movie or where you went to college. Talk about religion and values and priorities and (gasp) politics. Don’t waste time with the surface stuff. Dig deep!
Most of the women who called in agreed with Dennis 100%. They too wanted to talk about deeper issues on dates. The men…not so much. They’d rather stick to movies, sports, food and fun.
After having been on more dates than I ever wanted to (and seeing no end in sight) I think I can speak with some experience here. Not that you want my advice, (I am still single mind you) but this is my website so I feel comfortable telling you what I think.
Meet in the middle. It’s a bit of a cop out…but I think it’s the best method. Talk about a little bit of everything. I have found it’s quite easy to go from the surface to the deep end of the pool with out too much awkwardness.
The best method is to ask your date questions.
When he tells you he’s close with his family ask him what that looks like. Close as in dinner with them every Sunday night. Or close as in they live down the hall because he still lives with mom and dad.
If a guy says he loves to travel ask about his favorite vacation and what he did while he was there. Hawaii and snorkeling (adventurous). Or 5 days on his couch watching March Madness which he calls a vacation (might be a bit obsessed with college hoops).
One way that religion and my relationship with God pops up in almost all of my dates is when the guy asks me what I do on the weekends. There are times when I consider withholding information- telling him the play by play of Friday thru Sunday minus church. But most of the time I casually say, “On Sunday I meet some friends for church and then we all go to breakfast together afterwards.” Sometimes the men twitch with nervousness and move on to the next subject, other times they ask me about that and before I know it we’re talking about values and beliefs. And it’s totally comfortable.
Try it sometime. You might like it.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Surface or deep? And why?
