Me, my laptop, a fire and this post.
Yesterday I tackled the best things about being single during the holidays. Today I am going over to the dark side to tell you why I dislike the holidays. Of course I am not talking about the crowds, commercialization or lack of parking. You know exactly what I am talking about.
1. No one to come to your rescue when the creepy guy at the party is trying to get your number.
2. Creepy guy + no other single men at the party + mistletoe = problematic.
3. Going to dinner with other couples and when the bill comes it is divided up so that everyone pays for two. Including me. And I am one.
4. Attending a Christmas party where you look across the room and notice your date from Chapter 20-something is in attendance. You realize you have two options. Ignore or ignore. You ignore.
5. Hearing advertisements on the radio for eHarmony and match.com knowing that another year has ended in which you had to renew your yearlong subscription…for the third year in a row.
6. Spending Christmas morning with mom and dad (when siblings are with in-laws) and you’re done opening gifts in about 10 minutes time.
7. Having no one to duet with at the work Christmas party when you would like to karaoke “But Baby It’s Cold Outside”.
8. When your friend calls to tell you she has the perfect guy for you…tall, cute, police academy grad, athletic. He is good friends with a guy from her small group. His name is Ryan Clark. Are you interested? Um. Well. I think I’ll pass because he’s my sister-in-law’s little brother!!!! I know we’re not legally related, but I am not sure I see him that way…
9. Getting stuck at the kid’s table for the 31st year in a row.
10. I can’t think of anything else. I’m plum out of ideas. Guess that means being single during the holidays isn’t all that bad!
You need new friends because anyone who would make you pay for two people is ridiculous. I hate when people split the bill evenly anyway because I order cheap stuff because, well, it’s cheap!
Funny, Megan. Yet again: Funny. I like “You realize you have two options. Ignore or ignore. You ignore.”
At dinner, try being single and a non-drinker…
I’ve actually found that many married people have little concept of how to fairly and efficiently split a dinner check in large mixed groups. Yet it comes naturally to singles… I blame the unity candle.
Ugh, that’s when you start asking for a separate check.